"I don’t want you to change. I want you to always be you.”

neenuhbee:

queenaisling:

a-weeping-fangirl:

When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary

Except for Ellen’s book right

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and tina fey’s
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cumber-bitches:

I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth and the bath kept making a noise every now and again and I literally, out loud, said “can you not” to a bath.

So, are we- are we cool? With what happened last night?
Bro’s before hoes. Right?

okcupidfailzzz:

sleepingwiththesea:

don’t be a little shit to me on tinder

OMG yes

  • me on my way home from class: oh man i'm gonna get so much work done let me make a to do list and get that shit done quickly and effectively i'm so pumped
  • me the second i get home: nah

bloodpactgirlscout:

icantspellbuterfly:

bloodpactgirlscout:

so the saddest shortest story is attributed to hemingway:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

and this came to me at breakfast and i thought it was hilarious. 

pls don’t ruin hemingway for me.

no i will continue to do that

hippiebabysitterr:

today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”

to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older

they were going to get fakes to buy fish

hiccstrid:

hijacksittinginatree:

thedorkiestviking:

give-me-all-the-breasthats:

icelandiceel:

Have some Hiccup lines.

Hiccup Pick-up Lines

piccup lines

piccup lines

PICCUP LINES

pre-medprep:

Always reblog. Always always.

the-goddamazon:

lancrebitch:

crunchierkatie:

i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much. 

i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body

I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.

  • Friend: So what languages do you speak then?
  • Me: Eh, well, I speak English and German..mostly.
  • Friend: I thought you were really into languages?
  • Me: 
  • Friend: ?
  • Me: Well, I mean, I can sorta probably get by in Twi but there's a lot of English in that, and Spanish for like holidays maybe, and Dutch and Swedish but that's mostly German, and I'll give Dagaare and Assamese a shot but make a fool of myself, and then obviously Greek and Hebrew and Latin you don't speak...so...and I'm ok with Sumerian and Akkadian, and I'll take a stab at Hittite and Luwian and Eblaite and Ugaritic and I wouldn't say I can READ Middle Egyptian but we're getting there at a stretch
  • Friend: 
  • Me: So...yeah...German and English ...

lifeisdisney:

we need to talk about shrek more

lunalovegouda:

Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:

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