"I don’t want you to change. I want you to always be you.”
When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary
Except for Ellen’s book right
and tina fey’s
I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth and the bath kept making a noise every now and again and I literally, out loud, said “can you not” to a bath.
So, are we- are we cool? With what happened last night?
Bro’s before hoes. Right?
don’t be a little shit to me on tinder
so the saddest shortest story is attributed to hemingway:
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
and this came to me at breakfast and i thought it was hilarious.
pls don’t ruin hemingway for me.
no i will continue to do that
today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
Have some Hiccup lines.
Hiccup Pick-up Lines
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
we need to talk about shrek more